A turkey decided to try out for a pro football team. The players gazed in amazement as the turkey caught every pass and ran right through the defensive line!
The coach shouted, “You’re terrific! You made the team and I’ll see to it that you get a big bonus!”
“Forget the bonus,” the turkey said “I want to know if I’ll be playing Thanksgiving Day?”

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Three sons dicussed the gifts they gave their mother for Christmas.
The first said, “I built a big house for our mother.”
The second said, “I sent her a Mercedes.”
The third said, “I’ve got you both beat. You remember how mom enjoyed reading the Bible? And you know she can’t see very well. So I sent her a parrot that recites the entire Bible. It took church elders 12 years to teach him. Mom just has to name the chapter and verse, and the parrot recites it.”
Soon thereafter, mom sent out her letters of thanks:
“Dear Milton, The house you built is too huge. I live in only one room but I have to keep the whole house clean!”
“Dear Gerald, I am too old to travel. I stay at home most of the time, so I rarely use the Mercedes.”
“Dearest Donald, You surely know what your mother likes. The chicken was dee-licious!”

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